I wrote an article two weeks ago entitled The Covenant Periled wherein I wrote the framework for a man’s responsibility within a relationship with his wife. I am now writing a practical response to how a man can quickly begin to think critically about how he serves his wife. Why is this important?
The husband is the federal head of his household. Being such, when he leads, his family will almost always certainly follow. When the husband sins he not only brings consequences onto himself but also his entire house. Likewise, when he neglects his headship his entire family feels it and oftentimes knows it. So the father’s leadership will lead to the shame or commendation of his household. This is obviously very serious and does not need to be taken lightly. So after you’ve read the aforementioned post, think over these practical questions in order to help better serve your wife.
- How am I rejoicing with my wife?
- Am I excited about her endeavors?
- In what ways have I been unfaithful to her in thoughts, words, or deeds?
- Do I act as the head of my wife as Christ is the head of the church? I am certainly the head of our household; the question is whether I am a good head.
- Do I love her as Christ loved the church?
- How will I intentionally help my wife grow in sanctification?
- How often do you pray for her
- How often do you pray with her?
- Are you leading your household in daily worship?
- Do you know what she’s doing in her quiet time?
- Is she doing a quiet time?
- Do I love her as my own body?
- Am I bitter against her and do I hold grudges?
- In what ways do I honor her?
- How can I better treat her as the weaker vessel?
- Do you fulfill your marital responsibility?
- Is there anything I can do to better provide for her?
Over the few years we have been married, I have realized that it takes more than hoping that I love my wife. We must actually love our wife and there is no greater way to express that love than through demonstrating (not simply expressing) it. I find that if I do not spend intentional time every week planning specific ways that I can bless my wife, I will lax in my duties as a husband.